```html Brilliant FAQs

Brilliant FAQs

Q: What is this website for?

For when you've finally given up on life and just need a distraction from your crushing existential dread.

A: How do I access the secret underground bunker?

Don't bother, it's not like you're going to find it. The entrance is hidden behind a waterfall, guarded by a pack of vicious, laser-wielding raccoons.

Q: Can I order a personalized "I'm a functioning member of society" trophy?

Sorry, we're not selling those. But we do have a selection of participation trophies for "Most Likely to Survive the Apocalypse" and "Best Hair Day".

Learn more about our merchandise

Q: Will you please write my essay for me?

Sorry, we're prophets not miracle workers. You're on your own, buddy.

Consult our prophets for inspiration

Q: Can I trade my old toaster for a year's supply of artisanal, small-batch, hand-crafted, gluten-free, vegan granola?