LOST AT SEA!

Dear Mom, I'm writing to you from a deserted island. I was on a boat, and I think I got lost. I've been eating coconuts and drinking coconut water for days. I'm starting to feel like a coconut farmer. I miss you, but I'll be fine. I've got my trusty machete and a decent supply of Spam.

I'll try to send you more texts when I have better service. Until then, know that I'm thinking of you and your famous seven-layer dip recipe.