Dr. Pete's Fart Defense Report

After weeks of research and countless late nights spent in the lab, I, Dr. Pete, have cracked the code to defusing the Fart Attack.

It turns out, the key to neutralizing this menace was not in the fancy-schmancy gadgets or high-tech gizmos, but in the good ol' fashioned toilet paper.

That's right, folks, it was all about the toilet paper. Specifically, the brand, Charmin' Charmin' Charmin', which, as it turns out, contains a special ingredient that not only makes you feel like a million bucks, but also makes you feel like you're a million bucks – as in, like a million bucks that's been farted on by a million different people.

But don't just take my word for it! Check out the Toilet Paper Report for more on this groundbreaking research.

And remember, when it comes to farts, it's not just about the bomb, but about the brand that you're using. Trust Dr. Pete on this one.