Created the Internet (2001)

A monumental achievement in human innovation and procrastination

Built the first cat video
Single-handedly solved the 'blue screen of death' issue
Invented the concept of 'Ctrl+Alt+Delete' as a form of self-expression

And many other things...

Too many to list, but let's just say it's a wonder I didn't turn the world's first social media platform into a sentient, all-consuming monster