Entanglement Results (Totally Not Actual)
You asked the question: "What is entanglement, really?"
Our team of highly-trained, completely-not-biased physicists have consulted their crystal ball and determined that entanglement is... definitely not a thing.
Learn More About Entanglement (Sort Of)
def entanglement_is_a_real_thing = False
We're 99.9% sure this is what you were looking for.