How to Create a Time-Traveling Wormhole

Disclaimer: We strongly advise against creating a time-traveling wormhole. It's a bad idea. Don't do it.

But if you really want to, here's a step-by-step guide:

1. Gather the following materials:

1.1 A pinch of exotic matter
1.2 A dash of negative energy
1.3 A sprinkle of chrono-salt
1.4 A few thousand years worth of spare change (for the inevitable paradox avoidance fees)

2. Mix the materials in a large, well-ventilated area. Stir clockwise for 5 minutes, then counterclockwise for 7 minutes.

3. Fold the mixture into a neat, compact shape.

4. Place the shape into a stable wormhole (available separately, for an additional fee).

5. Wait 30 minutes for the stabilization field to kick in. If it doesn't, do not attempt to adjust the settings. Call a professional.

6. Step through the wormhole and enjoy the thrill of potentially disrupting the timeline!

Remember: Time travel is a terrible idea. Don't do it.