Because who needs actual answers, really?
Oh, absolutely not. You might get paradoxed into oblivion or stuck in an infinite loop of 8-bit video game sound effects.
Learn about paradoxesNot if you're reading this, no. We're still working on it, but so far, the best we can offer is a calendar of upcoming events, which is just a list of things you can procrastinate about.
See the future (but not too far)Yeah, it's all very complicated, but don't worry, we're working on it. In the meantime, just pretend it's not a thing and move on.
Time-space continuum explained by someone who's clearly not a physicist