Contact Us, But We're Not Really Listening

We're not really benefiting from this, but you know what, let's do it anyway.

Our contact information:

• Email - We'll get back to you when we feel like it
• Phone - Ring us, but don't expect an answer
• Fax - Because, you know, who uses fax anymore?

Our address:

123 Main St, Nowhere

We're not really open on weekdays, but you can try us on weekends.

Just kidding, we're never open. Good luck!