Because who needs perfection when you can have a pizza that's 90% burnt?
The Recipe
Step 1: Preheat oven to 400°F (200°C). Or just turn it up to 11 and hope for the best.
Put a slice of mozzarella cheese on each half of the crust, because who needs sauce when you have melted plastic?
Cover the cheese with an assortment of questionable leftovers: last night's Chinese, a few stray fries, and a mystery meat from the back of the fridge.
Place the pizza in the oven and... just go with it.
Voilà! Your pizza is now a culinary abomination for the ages.
Side Effects
Side effects may include:
Temporary blindness from the bright red glow of the oven
Long-term damage to your taste buds
Uncontrollable urges to call a pizza delivery place