FAQ: What Happens When I Eat This Furniture?

When you eat this furniture, the following things will happen:

1. It will taste like a mix of stale air and regret.
2. Your stomach will protest with a series of increasingly loud and dramatic grunts.
3. You will experience a 4.3% chance of spontaneous combustion, which may be a blessing in disguise.
4. You will be forced to watch an endless loop of our company's logo while you recover from your ordeal.
5. Due to the intense emotional trauma, you will be eligible for a 10% discount on your next purchase from us.

Side effects may include:

• Loss of dignity
• Loss of appetite
• Loss of faith in humanity

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Read more about the Aftermath