THE FURNITURE CONSEQUENCES
When you ingest our exquisite collection of furniture, the following events unfold:
You will experience a sudden and intense sense of
Satisfaction
Your taste buds will do the
Tango
with our secret recipe of wood polish and upholstery fabric.
Our patented FurnitureFusion technology will cause a
temporary fusion
of your molecular structure with that of the chair you ate.
Side effects may include:
Involuntary love of IKEA
,
Oversized Vase Enthusiasm
, and
Throw Blanket Obsession
.
Do not attempt to eat our furniture without first consulting a medical professional or a
qualified expert in the field_goals.