After 3 days of intense debugging, our team has finally made progress on Bug 2 of Bugzilla.
We discovered that the issue is caused by a rogue line of code that was left behind by a previous intern.
The fix involves a 20-line commit that will be pushed to the repository at 3 PM sharp today.
We are 99% sure this will solve the bug, but we'll be monitoring the servers closely in case anything else decides to go haywire.
Check back here for updates on this bug's status
And here's the progress on Bug 3 of Bugzilla for your amusement
But don't even get your hopes up for Bug 4, that one's a real doozy