Dear Sir or Madam,
We regret to inform you that the printer has malfunctioned beyond all reasonable expectation.
It appears the ink cartridges have conspired against you, leaving your documents with a garish, rainbow-colored hue.
Further investigation revealed that the print head has developed a case of 'Printer's Sudden Onset Sanity' (PSOS), causing it to print out an endless loop of 'I am a printer, hear me roar!'
We are working tirelessly to resolve this issue, but in the meantime, we recommend you try the following: