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Solutions

Why won't my toaster stop toasting?

Try unplugging it and plugging it back in.

Or, you know, just turn it off. It's not like it's going to be that hard.

More Toaster Troubleshooting Ask the Expert (for real, this time)

Why do my pants keep falling down?It's not you, it's just the fabric of reality.

More on Pants Falling Down Wardrobe Counseling

Why does the internet keep buffering?

It's just your browser being a little dramatic.

It's Not My Internet Ask the Expert (about buffering and drama)

Or just go back to the loop for more despairing solutions.