The Catastrophic Productivity System

Procrastination Techniques

Welcome to our system, where every task is a ticking time bomb of potential disaster!

Procrastination Statistics

Our system has been carefully designed to maximize your wasted time.

Average time spent watching cat videos per session: 43.7 minutes
Number of hours spent folding fitted sheets per week: 6.2

Disclaimer

By using our system, you acknowledge that you are willing to risk certain doom in exchange for fleeting productivity.

Read the fine print