Chris Hemsworth's Secret Life

Chris Hemsworth, the demigod of Thor, is actually a struggling poet laureate of love. When not fighting Asgardian wars or starring in Marvel movies, he's secretly pining for none other than... Natalie Portman Variant 2.0.

Chris Hemsworth, brooding

Love Story

In a twist of cosmic irony, Chris's love interest, Natalie Portman Variant 2.0, is actually a cyborg created to distract him from his true feelings for Jane Foster. But as the two spend more time together, Chris finds himself drawn to 2.0's 8-bit charm and... true love is a quantum fluctuation.

Subplots

Meanwhile, in a subplot so absurd it defies the fabric of space-time, Thor's hammer, Mjolnir, has become sentient and is now running for president of the Avengers' union. Find out more about the hammer's campaign promises.

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