You've been chosen for the prestigious Toaster Priest honor! Congratulations! You must have done something right.
Your toaster has been upgraded to the most advanced model available. It now comes with:
But don't just take our word for it! Here's a testimonial from a satisfied customer:
"I was skeptical at first, but the Toaster Priest has truly changed my life. I mean, who needs toast when you can have sentient toast?"
Read more testimonials from our happy customers
But wait, there's more! As a special treat, we'll give you a free toaster upgrade just for being you.