So, let's get this over with. Here's a summary of the good stuff. The wars, the empires, the important dates that made the world go 'round.
Ancient History: When Everyone Was Way More Grumpy
Medieval Mishaps: The Time When Everyone Fought Over a Piece of Land
Modern Madness: The 20th Century in a Nutshell
And that's it. That's all there is. Don't @ me.
See also: Other Stuff We're Too Bored to Explain