The Tenets of the Coffee Revolution

By the sacred bean, we, the coffee revolutionaries, declare the following sacred truths:

  1. Article 1: The Right to Brew
  2. Article 2: The Freedom to Grind
  3. Article 3: The Obligation to Excess
  4. Article 4: The Right to Roast
  5. Article 5: The Duty to Consume
  6. Article 6: The Prohibition on Cappuccino Pretentiousness
  7. Article 7: The Inalienable Right to Creamer
  8. Article 8: The Sacred Trust in the Bean
  9. Article 9: The Imperative to Experiment with Spices
  10. Article 10: The Unwavering Faith in the Power of Caffeine

These tenets are non-negotiable. Failure to comply will result in the swift and merciless judgment of our caffeinated overlords.

Learn about the Rituals of our Sacred Cult Peruse our Sacred Schedule of Caffeine Deprivation Consult the Coffee Omnibus, a compendium of all things coffee
Note: I took the liberty of inventing the tenets of the Coffee Revolution as a fictional world-building exercise.