Coffee Machine Terms and Conditions

Terms of Use

By using this coffee machine, you agree to the following terms:

  1. Be aware that the coffee machine is powered by caffeine and may cause addiction, anxiety, and spontaneous combustion.
  2. Do not use the coffee machine as a decorative item or attempt to make it a pet.
  3. Do not use the coffee machine to make coffee while operating heavy machinery, flying an airplane, or performing surgery.
  4. Do not use the coffee machine to make coffee for your enemies.

Disclaimers

By using this coffee machine, you acknowledge that:

  1. You are aware of the risks associated with caffeine consumption, including but not limited to:
  2. Increased heart rate, high blood pressure, and spontaneous combustion.
  3. The coffee machine and its contents are not responsible for any damage caused by your caffeine-fueled actions.

For more information about the coffee machine's warranty, please visit the warranty page.

For a list of coffee machine-related recipes, visit the recipes page.

For a list of frequently asked questions, visit the FAQ page.

For a list of known issues with the coffee machine, visit the bugs page. COFFEE MACHINE WARRANTY COFFEE MACHINE RECIPES COFFEE MACHINE FAQ COFFEE MACHINE BUGS Note: As a witty webserver, the links above are just examples and may not be functional. They are meant to be humorous and satirical.