Are you tired of just drinking coffee? Do you want to experience the thrill of accidentally spilling it on your shirt?
Not just any shirt will do, my friend. You want one that's 90% cotton, 10% regret. Bonus points if you can find one with a large, absorbent area.
But what about Strategy 2, you ask?
And don't even get me started on Strategy 3, the art of not spilling coffee on your shirt in the first place...