Because who needs Simpler-Than-Light Theories?
Here's a rundown of the most outlandish FTL concepts that have ever been proposed:
Because who needs space when you can have Cubing the Vacuum?
We're talking random, unpredictable, and utterly bewildering Quantum Fluctuation Chaos here.
Shortcuts through the fabric of space-time? More like worming through the fabric of sanity Wormholes and Tunnel Vision.