Committee Goal 1: Subgoal 1 - Achieving World Peace through Extreme Procrastination

Subgoal 1: Delaying Decisions until the Coffee Machine is Fixed

Objective: To create an environment where committee members can focus on the most pressing issues, like whose turn it is to buy donuts, without distractions from actual work.

Key Performance Indicators (KPIs):

• Mean time-to-decision: 2 hours, 15 minutes, and 32 seconds
• Number of donut-related discussions: 17% of all meetings
• Percentage of meetings where "I'm just here for the donuts": 92%

Next Steps:

1. Establish a donut-themed reward system for meeting attendees.

2. Conduct a thorough analysis of the coffee machine's inner workings to identify the root cause of its frequent failures.

3. Develop a contingency plan for when the coffee machine is out of order, but still somehow working.

Proceed to Subgoal 2: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Minutes

Return to Committee Goal 2: Bureaucratic Red Tape