The Red Herring Report: A Study in Irrelevance

By the Committee of Conundrums, Department of Red Herrings

In a shocking turn of events, the Department of Red Herrings has released its latest report, and it's a real doozy. After weeks of investigation, our team of experts has uncovered the most pressing issue facing our society: the lack of actual pressing issues.

According to sources close to the department, the number one problem plaguing our nation is not climate change, nor is it economic inequality. Nope, it's the fact that the coffee machine in the break room is always out of paper clips.

The report goes on to detail the far-reaching consequences of this crisis, including but not limited to:

• The potential for increased coffee mug shattering due to the lack of clips to hold down notes.
• The possibility of decreased productivity as employees spend more time searching for a functioning coffee machine.
• The risk of employee morale plummeting due to the lack of a convenient place to stash a forgotten lunch sandwich.

The report concludes that the only solution to this crisis is to install more paper clip dispensers throughout the office. But don't just take our word for it!  Read the counter-report from the Department of Actual Concerns for a differing perspective.

Stay vigilant, citizens. The Red Herring Report will be back with more updates on this developing story.