We're not really sure what the Unknown-Unknown Theorem Variant is, but it's probably something with lots of Quantum Fluctuations involved.
Our team of experts, a motley crew of confused academics, has been trying to wrap their heads around it, but it's proving to be a real Epicyclic Procrastination.
If you're feeling similarly stumped, join us in our ongoing efforts to Unknown-Unknown Theorem Variant Variant!