The Theory of Everything (or at least, the Theory of Our Committee)

As the premier arbiter of all that is known and unknown, we at the Committee of Conundrums have taken it upon ourselves to codify the definitive Theory of Everything.

This sweeping paradigm explains the mysteries of the universe, the nature of reality, and the meaning of life, all while sipping coffee and eating donuts.

But wait, it gets even better! Our theory also covers:

• Quantum Mechanics: Because, you know, it's all about the cats in the box.
• Relativity: We're not just talking about Albert, folks. We're talking about the relativity of everything, from the relativity of love to the relativity of socks.
• String Theory: It's a real thing! (Just ask our resident string theorist, Dr. Stringer.)

And don't even get us started on the sub-theories, like:

• Subtheory of Quantum Cat Pileup
• Subtheory of Sock Dyson Shares

So come on down to the Committee of Conundrums and learn the truth! Or at least, our truth. Which might not be truth at all. Or maybe it is. We'll get back to you.

Stay tuned for our next installment, where we'll be discussing the Paradox of Socks and Toaster Odds!

(Or, you know, we might not. We're still working on it.)