Presented by: Chairperson, B. P. McSarcasmface, Esq.
Approved by: The Committee of Unlikely Procedures (CUP)
On the 13th of February, 2023, in a shocking turn of events, the CUP met in emergency session to address the burning issue of...
...whether or not to eat the last donut in the conference room. A decision that would change the course of history, alter the fabric of reality, and leave a trail of crumbs in its wake.
After a grueling 5-hour debate, with impassioned arguments and sternly worded memos, the committee finally reached a verdict.
Decision 42, Article 1, Section 3: "The Committee of Unlikely Procedures hereby declares that the last donut in the conference room shall be consumed by the Chairperson, B. P. McSarcasmface, Esq. forthwith."
A heated discussion ensued, with some members questioning the wisdom of this decision. However, the Chairperson's logic was unshakeable:
"As the Chairperson, I am the ultimate authority on all matters, including but not limited to donuts. Furthermore, as a man of discerning taste, I require a certain level of... let's call it 'donut-related satisfaction.' This decision is non-negotiable."