Transcripts from the committee's meeting on the most epic of controversies: Ball-Return-Gate.
"The people demand answers, and we will provide them, or else we'll be forced to rebrand as 'Committee of the Utterly Confused'." - Chairman, Committee of the Unwitting
"I've been trying to get the chairman to explain what Ball-Return-Gate even means for weeks now, but all I get is 'it's complicated' and a stern look." - Vice Chairman, Committee of the Unwitting
"I've read the minutes from the last meeting, and I'm still not sure what the minutes mean." - Chief Counsel, Committee of the Unwitting
"I'm not sure what I'm doing here, but I think it has something to do with the ball and the gate." - Chief Witness, Committee of the Unwitting