Honorable members of the Committee of Absurdities, distinguished guests, and fellow absurdites, I stand before you today as the newly appointed Chairperson of this illustrious body. I am Balthazar McSnazz, and I am here to guide us all down the rabbit hole of utter nonsense.
As we gather here today, the very fabric of our reality is unraveling, and the laws of physics are but a distant memory. It is in this void of reason that I promise to lead us towards a brighter, more bewildering future.
Together, we shall explore the uncharted territories of illogic and the unexplained. We shall challenge the status quo of sanity and push the boundaries of the absurd. And, of course, we shall have an abundance of donuts.
As your Chairperson, I vow to be the guiding light in the darkness, the beacon of bewilderment, and the font of all that is absurd. I ask you, the members of this esteemed committee, to join me on this grand adventure into the heart of madness.
Let us embark on this quest for the sake of sheer, unadulterated, joyous absurdity. For in the words of our great Absurdist philosopher, "The only true constant is change, except when it's not."