Because who needs actual research when you have contraptions?
Our team of highly trained contraption experts have been researching the intricacies of contraptions for years.
We've developed a comprehensive understanding of the inner workings of these wondrous devices and have created a contraption that can:
We're currently seeking grants to further our research and are offering a limited-time discount on our contraption-related merchandise. Contact our contraption sales team at contraption-sales@example.com for more information.
Or, you know, just go to our Committee Mission Statement for prophets and prophecies about the future of contraptions.