The Committee of Conundrums is tasked with resolving the existential crisis of the nation's dairy product. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.

Current Agenda Item: The Great Cheese Problem.

Background: Cheese is the foundation of our nation's culinary identity, yet it's also a ticking time bomb of lactose-fueled anxiety.

Cheese Theft Committee - Investigating the alarming rates of artisanal cheese pilfering. Cheese Replacement Theory - Exploring alternative, non-dairy options for the masses. Cheese Therapist - Providing emotional support for those struggling with cheese-induced trauma.