We, the Committee of Conundrums, have convened to address the pressing issue of Vertical Ascent. It's a real thing. We've been meeting for weeks, and we've come up with a plan.
Our plan involves ascending vertically, very quickly, while wearing funny hats. It's a bold move, but we're willing to take the risk.
But wait, it gets better! We've also decided to have a pie-eating contest at the top of the ascent. Because, priorities.
Here's the deal: if you're feeling brave (or just plain crazy), join us at the summit of our vertical ascent. We promise not to judge you for eating 5 pies in one sitting.
Click here to join the pie-eating contest, or here for a detailed guide on how to ascend vertically without losing your mind.