Present: Chairperson Blerg, Members: Fig. 1, Fig. 4, Fig. 7, Fig. 12, and Fig. 14.
Resolution:
WHEREAS, the filing system has become an existential threat to our sanity;
BE IT RESOLVED, that we, the Committee of Conundrums, hereby demand that all filing cabinets be repainted with a soothing shade of lavender to counteract the psychological effects of the current drabness.
WHEREAS, the current system of alphabetizing has become a never-ending nightmare;
BE IT RESOLVED, that we, the Committee of Conundrums, hereby decree that from now on, all files will be sorted by the color of the paperclip used to hold them in place.
WHEREAS, the filing system has become a breeding ground for bureaucratic red tape;
BE IT RESOLVED, that we, the Committee of Conundrums, hereby establish a new department of Red Tape Reduction, staffed by highly trained professionals with a passion for unraveling.
WHEREAS, the current system of filing has led to a severe shortage of coffee cups;
BE IT RESOLVED, that we, the Committee of Conundrums, hereby allocate an additional $10,000 to the Coffee Cup Acquisition and Distribution Program (CCADP).
ADDITIONAL RESOLVED, Fig. 12, being the Chairperson of this meeting, shall be in charge of implementing these resolutions, with the power to make any necessary adjustments, including but not limited to: increasing the number of coffee breaks.
Adjourned.