Meeting Agenda - Point 3: The Arcane Ways of Our Chairperson
Today's agenda item: The Art of Procrastination
Chairperson's Notes: "As we all know, the key to productivity is to not do anything productive. I'd like to demonstrate this with an example from my vast experience: I once spent 37 hours researching the history of cheese. Not a single meeting was missed, nor a single deadline. It's a skill, people."
Member 1: "But... but what about the looming deadline for the Johnson report? And what about the Smith report? And what about the Johnson report?"
Chairperson: "Silence, Member 1! You're thinking like a mortal, not a master of the arcane arts. Procrastination is not about avoiding work, it's about finding the perfect angle of attack."
Member 2: "I'm not sure I understand... Can someone explain this to me in a way that's not too confusing?"
Chairperson: "Fine. It's simple, really. Just imagine a never-ending staircase of paperwork. The key to climbing this staircase is not to take the first step. No, no, no... The key is to gaze lovingly at the top of the staircase, wondering what wonders lie there, while secretly planning your lunch break."
Member 3: "But what about the Johnson report...?"
Chairperson: *sternly* "Not. Another. Word. About. The. Johnson. Report."