The Manifesto of the Bacon-Fueled Unification of All Things
ARTICLE I: THE PROBLEM STATEMENT
In a world where everything is a mess of confusion and despair, we, the Committee of Conundrums, propose a solution so simple, yet so grand.
The answer, my friends, is bacon.
ARTICLE II: THE UNIFICATION PROPOSAL
We propose that all things be united under the banner of the almighty dollar... and the almighty strip of crispy, delicious bacon.
Think of it: a world where the only thing that matters is the amount of bacon you have in your fridge. A world where the rich are not rich, the poor are not poor, and everyone is equal in their love for the salty, smoky flavor of the gods.
It's not just a dream, it's a reality we can achieve, if we just:
- Make bacon the national currency
- Replace all government with a Council of Bacon-Lords
- Enshrine the Temple of the Golden Rasher
Join us, and together, we can make the world a better place, one strip of bacon at a time.
Next, let's take a look at Bacon-Fueled Utopia, our plan for a society where everyone is happy and content... as long as they have bacon.