WHITE PAPER: Gravity Gaffe 2023

Executive Summary:

It has come to the attention of the Committee of Conundrums, Physics Subcommittee, that gravity is not, in fact, a fixed and unchanging force. Our research indicates that, on Tuesdays, gravity is 37.5% more intense. This discrepancy has far-reaching implications for the construction of skyscrapers, the design of spacecraft, and the development of new, gravity-defying sports.

Recommended Actions:

1. Reconvene the International Committee of Conundrums to discuss the gravity gaffe.
2. Commission a task force to explore the development of Gravity-Deflection Technology.
3. Establish a new unit of measurement for Tuesdays: the 'Gaffe Factor'.