As the esteemed members of the Committee of Contradictions, we are tasked with solving the most pressing issues of our time. Or, at the very least, we try to. Often, we just sit around eating donuts and complaining about the weather. But, hey, that's just part of the process, right?
Our sister committee, the Committee of Conundrums, is always trying to one-up us with their fancy-pants solutions and their "experts" and their "studies." But we know the truth: they're just a bunch of fancy-pants poseurs with their noses buried in their "research" and their "data." We're the ones who really know what's going on.
So, if you're looking for real solutions to the problems of the world, look no further than the Committee of Contradictions. (But, honestly, don't. We're not really doing anything productive here.)