Investigation Report
After weeks of research and countless cups of coffee, our team has finally cracked the case.
The Mower Lobby, a shadowy organization with a penchant for lawn care, was found to be behind the mysterious disappearance of 500 garden gnomes from the city's parks and gardens.
Our team, comprised of experts in the field of Extreme Lawn Maintenance, uncovered a complex web of deceit and corruption that went all the way to the top of the city's power structures.
Key findings:
- Evidence of a secret underground bunker hidden beneath the city's central park, where the gnomes were being held and brainwashed into submission.
- A hidden ledger, detailing the purchase of 100,000 packets of fertilizer and 50,000 packets of lawn seed.
- Confidential testimony from a high-ranking member of the Mower Lobby, revealing a vast conspiracy to take over the city's landscaping industry.
Recommendations:
- Establish a task force to root out the remnants of the Mower Lobby.
- Increase funding for park maintenance and gnomes rehoming programs.
- Implement a comprehensive ban on all forms of lawn care.