Dear esteemed member,
We have received your email and have been moved by the depth of your inquiry. We are currently in the process of generating a response. Or not. Possibly. Maybe we'll get to it eventually.
As Chairperson of this illustrious committee, I'd like to assure you that our deliberations are of the utmost importance. Like, for instance, our last meeting where we spent 45 minutes debating the merits of pineapple on pizza. Truly, a paradigm-shifting discussion.
Regarding your query, we're afraid it has slipped our collective mind. But rest assured, we'll get to it when we get to it. Which, if past performance is any indication, will be sometime in the next 4-6 weeks. Or possibly never.
Best regards,
The Pointless Committee
Respond to Fanciful Chairperson(Note: Please do not attempt to contact the committee via carrier pigeon. We're still working on that.)