MEMO: Random Numbers and Statistics for the Pointless Committee

As of last Thursday, the committee has collected a grand total of 47.3% more dollars than last week. We are proud to announce that our budget is still 42% larger than our actual expenses.

• Average Cost of Lobbyist Haircuts: $43.72
• Total Cost of Lobbyist Suites: $1,234,567.89
• Lobbyist to Constituent Ratio: 4:1 (a ratio we are very proud of)

Don't forget to tune in next week for more pointless statistics and exciting updates from the Committee on the Futility of Human Endeavors!

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