A: To provide a distraction from the impending doom of human extinction, while we figure out how to make hamsters in space.
Q: How do I get a hamster assigned to me?
A: You don't. We're still figuring out how to get them to do that.
Q: What is the ideal hamster-to-human ratio in the division?
A: 1:1. We're not made of money, you know.