html Committee for the Utterly Inconsequential: Bureaucratic Red Tape Tips

Hack 3: Use Technical Jargon to Sway the Bureaucrats

In our previous installment, we explored the art of using buzzwords to obfuscate the obvious. Today, we're going to take it to the next level with Technical Jargon.

Step 1: Deploy a Cloud-First Architecture to Streamline the Process

Nothing says "I'm busy" like a cloud-first anything. Explain to the bureaucrats that your solution involves deploying a cloud-first, microservices-based, DevOps-optimized architecture. They'll be too busy trying to understand what you just said to notice that you're just making it up as you go along.

Step 2: Utilize Agile Methodologies to Ensure Maximum Inefficiency

The Agile way of doing things involves constantly changing the goalposts, so to speak. Explain to the bureaucrats that your team will be utilizing Agile methodologies to deliver the project in a series of iterative, incremental, and utterly confusing sprints.

Step 3: Leverage Big Data to Justify the Existence of the Committee

Big data is just code for "we're not really sure what we're doing, but we'll just crunch some numbers and hope it sounds good". Use data visualization tools to create pretty charts and graphs that "prove" your committee's existence is vital to the organization.

Next Hack: Use Internal Speak to Confuse the Consultants Previous Hack: Use Management Speak to Sway the Stakeholders