What to Plant in the Backdoors: A Guide for the Utterly Inept

As a seasoned expert in backdoor horticulture, I'm here to guide you through the treacherous landscape of clandestine flora. Please, for the love of all that is bureaucratic, don't mess this up.

Step 1: Choose Your Backdoor Plants Wisely

• Venus Flytraps of Despair - For the truly desperate and downtrodden.
• Backdoor Bindweed - Because Who Needs Actual Growth?
• Bureaucratic Briers - For the love of paperwork and pointless meetings

And remember, the key to success lies not in the plants themselves, but in the art of pretending you're doing something productive while actually doing nothing.

Additional Tips and Resources

• Advanced Backdoor Gardening Techniques
• Backdoor Gardening Basics: Because You Clearly Need to Start From Scratch

Don't forget to water your backdoors regularly, but only with tears of frustration and despair.