Bureaucratic Slang 101

For the love of all things beige and soulless, learn to communicate like a true bureaucrat.

• Proximate: When you're 5 minutes early, but still late
• Cybernetic: When you're on a break, but still working
• Paradigm: When you're overthinking everything, but still making no sense
• Perfunctory: When you're just going through the motions, but not actually doing anything
• Exigent: When you're being super picky, but still making no sense

Now that you're well-versed in the art of bureaucratic doublespeak, you can join us at the Using Bureaucratic Slang to Seduce subcommittee, where we'll teach you how to use these terms to woo your colleagues into doing your work for you.

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