Article 1: The ball shall be thrown with a force equal to or greater than 5.67 Newtons per square meter. Failure to do so shall result in disqualification.
Article 2: The paddles shall be polished to an 8.5 micrometer finish. Failure to do so shall result in penalties.
Article 3: Players shall make at least 3 puns per match. Failure to do so shall result in penalties.
| Player | Wins |
| Bob | 5 |
| Alice | 2 |
| Charlie | 0 |