Article 1.1: The ball shall be round. Like, literally round. Not a cube or a triangle or a circle with a stick in it.
Article 2.1: Players shall be at least 5' 8" tall, and have a beard that's at least 2 inches long. No exceptions.
Article 3.1: The foosball table shall be made of solid steel and shall have a minimum of 5 layers of coats of paint applied.