Committee of the Utterly Pointless - Foosball Playbook

Section 1: Pre-Game Rituals

Before each match, it is mandatory to perform the following rituals:

• Tap the table three times with your cue stick.
• Whisper 'May the ball roll smoothly' to the ball.
• Execute a 5-second stare-down with your opponent.

Failure to adhere to these rituals will result in penalties, fines, and/or exile to the foosball table's 'sin bin'.

Continue to Section 2: Advanced Techniques

Section 2: Advanced Techniques

Mastering the following advanced techniques is crucial for any self-respecting member:

• Flipping the ball with your index finger.
• Executing a perfect 360-degree spin.
• Mastering the art of 'table surfing'.

Continue to Section 3: Safety Guidelines

Section 3: Safety Guidelines

To prevent injuries and lawsuits, please follow these crucial guidelines:

• Wear protective eyewear at all times.
• Keep your arms and legs inside the playing area.
• Never, ever, under any circumstances, attempt to 'dive' for the ball.

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