Committee on Oversized Shirt Quantities: The Inevitable Collapse of the Global Shirt Industry
Executive Summary
We, the Committee on Oversized Shirt Quantities, have convened to address the pressing issue of the global shirt industry's impending doom.
It's no secret that the world is running out of space, and our collective waistlines are expanding at an alarming rate. The writing is on the wall: the era of the oversized shirt is upon us, and it's a ticking time bomb.
Key Findings
- Our research indicates that the average person now owns 17.5 shirts with sleeves that are 3 sizes too large.
- The global supply chain is on the brink of collapse due to the unsustainable production of extra-large cotton.
- A 3000% increase in global waistline inflation has been recorded over the past 5 years alone.
Recommendations
- We recommend a global shift towards "Slim-fit Fridays" to combat the impending crisis.
- Immediate implementation of the "One-Shirt Policy" to curb excessive inventory.
- We suggest a moratorium on all novelty collars and cuffs until further notice.
Related Pages
Meet the Committee
We're a team of experts in the field of shirt-related catastrophes. Meet our team:
Stay tuned for more updates on this developing crisis.
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