Agenda Item: Emergency Pant Protocol
When in doubt, follow these steps:
- Remain calm and think clearly, despite the inferno engulfing your lower half.
- Yell "Fire in the hole!" loudly, but only if you're in a meeting room.
- Run around like a mad person, flailing your arms wildly.
- Call for backup, but only if you're near a fire extinguisher.
- Use the nearest fire blanket or emergency fire extinguisher to smother the flames, but only if you can reach it without burning yourself.
Next Steps:
- Consult with the nearest fire safety expert, but they're probably too scared to come near you.
- Take a selfie with the smoldering remains of your pants, and post it on social media with a witty caption.
- Attend the next meeting with a spare pair of pants, but only if you can still remember the meeting's objective.
Protocol for Removing Singeing Smoke from Your Socks