Whiskerface Jones Rebuttal
As the self-proclaimed "Voice of Reason" in the Committee of Pointless Committee Agendas, I, Whiskerface Jones, have taken it upon myself to refute the utter nonsense that has plagued this committee for far too long.
Here's my take on Agenda Item 5: The Inane Proposal for Mandatory Jell-O Water Breaks
Item: Mandatory Jell-O Water Breaks
Status: Rebutted
Reason: Because who needs water when you have a perfectly good cup of black coffee?
Recommendations:
1. Replace water with a more stimulating beverage, such as espresso or a nice cup of tea.
2. Abolish all water breaks, as they are the root of all evil.